Sorry. Sick day. I will try to continue the story tomorrow. Have a nice day.

I've been spending the day cleaning, doing laundry, and more cleaning. Other than that, I went on a lovely walk with my husband (this morning), did yoga (this afternoon) and am still working on laundry. Also, we are getting the last minute things done for our youngest to start college on Monday. 

While it will be nice to get back into a routine, we didn't really get to enjoy the summer, due to the wildfires. So, there's that. Also, I will miss my kids being at home. My oldest won't be living at home, so he will be sorely missed. Our little family is just such a team and we enjoy each other's company. 

However, I will be picking up my oldest from school (only 20 minutes away) for a monthly haircut and may drop in for at least a monthly lunch. Plus, he will come home for Sunday dinner every few Sundays. It's just strange to me that my kids are old enough to be away from home, finding their own way. I think it's awesome, the people that they are becoming. I just feel weird about how fast their childhood went by. 

There is a big chunk of my children's childhood that I was not super available for because of having late-stage Lyme disease. They are lucky to have such an amazing father who was willing to do the job of both father and mother for a lot of years. They are also lucky to have great grandparents who were willing to help out. We could not have done it without our support system.

This afternoon, after my hubby is done working (he gets to work from home on Fridays), he will be taking my youngest on his route via train to school, and via bus to get to the right place on campus. I think they will be running around that again tomorrow as well. Gotta get them in the best position to start the best year yet. 

I am so excited for my kids and their futures. They are making such great decisions and are maturing and developing, becoming wonderful young men. They have been the BEST kids anyone could ever want. So patient during our issues with health and with unemployment. So kind. So caring.

I want my kids to always know that we will love them no matter what their decisions may be, no matter, where they live, no matter what they choose as a profession, no matter how they dress or style their hair, no matter anything. We will always love them and will always be proud to call them ours. AND, I will never stop bragging about them being my kids;) I hope that I get to always talk to them at least once a day for the rest of my life. I think they know that I will always be up for a good online game too;)

...continued from previous post...

I was so lost and frustrated with my life that I couldn't breathe. So, I went out with my work family and started to create a new support system. Having fun was what I needed. I needed to laugh. I needed to have stuff to do. I needed to feel like I belonged somewhere.

My work family and I were out for happy hour when I tried my first bit of wine. It felt good. I was finally getting some relaxation. I needed something to calm my anxiety and being with my friends and having a drink (or often many) was what my nervous system needed.(until later on)

I was living on the small chain of lakes and was right by Lake Michigan. There was always something to do. I'd reunited with some of my friends from high school and hung out with them as well. 

We regularly got involved in beach volleyball leagues, dart leagues, going to concerts, going to events (mostly in downtown Chicago), and more.

I had some of the best times I've ever had with these people. They didn't seem to judge me at all. A judgement free zone. Plus, no drama, at least no undesirable drama. However, there was always romantic drama, and that was (at times) desirable.

I really started to feel like I wanted to get to know who I was. I always wanted to be like my mom (exactly like her) and always wanted the approval of my parents. Now, I needed to approve of myself and find out what I wanted to do and who I wanted to become. I never really explored that before.

I found myself settling into my life in Chicagoland, as a single female. My job was going great! My social life was going wonderfully. My health? Not so much. 

Starting when I was a junior in high school, I had a bout of mono. I had another bout of it when I was in college. That happened again (for a 3rd time) when I was 21. This time, I was not able to go to work, and like college, had to take care of myself. I've not been good at taking care of myself. I was always better at taking care of everyone else, putting my needs dead last. At this point, I don't think I realized that life had just been taking its toll in so many ways. I was exhausted. My body AND my mind AND my emotional center were all run down.

​...continued in next post...

I am so blessed. My husband works so hard and has a good job with good health insurance. It's so amazing how dedicated he is! He does everything for us and just loves us.  What a huge blessing health insurance is. Without it, I think we would be quite miserable and bankrupt because of the price for healthcare.

You know, I think I my neurologist is a miracle doctor. She works magic. I mean, I have had disabling migraines so bad for years and here she was, along with Botox for Migraine, ready to work her magic. We just had not found each other yet. 

I had an appointment with her today as a follow up from my past few sessions of Botox for Migraine. She is always happy to see all I am doing for better health, which makes me even more motivated. Of course, since it is close to when I get my shots (37 of them) again, she was analyzing my pain levels and we discussed my headache pain levels from Botox appointment to Botox appointment.

Dealing with headache pain is still a daily thing for me, but they are not debilitating like they were. I guess there is a type of brain that is a "migraine brain". Some things that work for allergies and other OTCs for other people will actually cause problems for migraine brains. I had no idea. 

Also, there is a new medication that is a once a month medication (a self injection) that should take care of all other headache issues I have during the month. What? Yes! The doctor's office is sending them a form to try to get me a couple of free shots and to get them to work with my insurance, so we shall see what happens with this. It is pretty much brand new! I am super excited because I still have headaches everyday.

In addition to talking about the above, she wondered why I had not been given a pharmaceutical for my migraine-ish headaches I get as I inch closer to my next Botox treatment. I have just been dealing with it. She was really surprised. So, we got that taken care of as well, which I am relieved about. Yay!  See...miracle worker!! Migraines are a real headache;)

So, this morning, I started out with refreshing yoga, from Yoga With Adriene on YouTube, which seems to be a religion of mine. I cannot go a day without yoga or my body does not like me. Lyme. 

After my doctor's appointment, I came home and doctored my oldest who is in hip pain, and my youngest who has an upset stomach. A mother's job is never done and I love my job security.

...continued from the last post...

There are angels among us. I wonder how we get the cue to be an angel for someone else. It's definitely spiritual and not physical. People are more attuned than they think they are. 

My mother left and I was now living in a friend's place, who was mostly living with her boyfriend. She worked with me. Again, an angel. She was about 10 years older than me and was really trying to mother me a little. She knew I was a mess. She knew a bit about what I was going through. I will forever love her for her generosity and her laughter...her constant laughter. What a joy Denise was when I was around her. I still keep in touch via social media and truly enjoy her still.

The death threats in my car (from my father) would continue. The phone calls from my mother. My stress levels. You might say that the zit was about to pop. I was anxious and depressed. All of my life (other than college) was filled with taking care of my siblings and watching out for my family's well being. I am a fixer and a nurturer. That's what I do. Now, I needed distance and it was painful.

The phone calls from my mother started to spread out as she got settled states away from me. However, then came the threatening phone calls from my "home teacher" from my LDS ward. This church that I had grown up in had also turned my life upside down. It wasn't the church itself (I am still a member and love it), but it was the people. My home teacher, who was friends with my father, was calling me and telling me that if I didn't get back with him he would call the police. What? I called him back and he wasn't home so I gave his wife a full ear of information about how inappropriate it was and that he better never contact me again.

That was it. I needed to totally distance myself from anything that was related to my father. That now included church. I didn't go back for years after that. It was a necessary step at that point. I was drowning and no one was going to throw me a life jacket. The water was infinitely deep and I was starting to choke. 

To be continued in the next post...

Question: What is your favorite music?
Answer: Anything with a good beat...okay not anything...I don't like music that has swear words or too much rap. I love Svircina, Evanescence, Imagine Dragons, you get the idea. I love music. Period.

I am exhausted.

Some days are just exhausting physically, mentally, emotionally. That would be today.

I started the day out right, getting up early, doing yoga, working, getting ready to do a photo shoot, doing said photo shoot, driving north about 30 minutes away to go visit my parents. My youngest and I wanted to be sure they were doing okay after my step dad came home from surgery. He had MAJOR surgery last week, where he was in the ICU for a few days. They seem to be doing fine and he seems to be healing.

It is really hard to see people in pain or discomfort. When my husband and I visited him in the ICU, it was very uncomfortable to see. I am an empath and feel other people's stuff really easily. I feel the energy that people give off. Hospitals are a tough one for everyone though.

Then, my oldest son had to last minute be taken to the doctor because his hip (he has had hip problems for years and no doctor has given definitive diagnoses or treatment that works. He couldn't even put any weight on that leg, could not have the doctor lift it without feeling like passing out, and it was radiating down to his knee. 

The doctor thinks that it is impingement syndrome. So, we have to go to another specialist. I am worried about him being able to get around in college if this does not get resolved. I am having serious anxiety issues about it. 

So I feel like I am so overwhelmed right now from both of my children's anxiety and pain. I look forward to bed tonight and to do yoga tomorrow morning. Coping 101. Sleep and exercise, along with meditation.

Continued story from last blog post....

Because of custody issues and restraining order issues, it was more safe for my mother to move out of the house nearly in the middle of the night. I was going to stay in Chicagoland so that I could keep my job, and partly so that I would not have to follow the drama that my body and mind could no longer handle on a daily basis.

In order to move, things had to be considered. My dog of 15 years was not going to be able to survive a move from one dramatic climate to another dramatic climate. This little guy, named "dirty", had been around for most of my life. I could always sit and talk to him and he would be happily listening. He was sweet. He was my friend. He had to be put down. He was already mostly blind and really could not hear. He was getting quite old. However, the trauma of saying goodbye for the last time caused me so much grief. I cried for 2 weeks. Anytime I thought about him for years after that I cried. The BEST dog ever!

My mother had her parents come out to help with the move. When we got things all loaded up, there was an old metal school desk in the middle of this huge driveway of ours. I sat and was just grieving. My dog was dead. My mom and my siblings that were like my own children were leaving. I was lost. I was broken. And up the driveway came Joe Walsh, one of my great friends that I had at Antioch High School. He was super special. It was like he appeared out of nowhere to console me. I had not seen him since I left for college. When he came closer, I just got out of the seat of this desk and ran over to him and he just held me while I bawled my eyes out. There are people in your life that are your ministering angels and I swear that he was the one for that day. He just felt like he should come over that day for no apparent reason, so he acted on it. Amazing!

I have tried to find Joe since and have not had any luck finding him. It's like he just disappeared off the face of the earth. I miss my friend. He was respectful. He listened. He joked with me. He was a great young man. Sometimes you just wonder what happened to people who touched your life and he is one that I hope has had everything he has ever wanted and more.

To be continued...

I love empowering companies. The picture above is from a website called Best You By HTS. They put me on their header! Can you believe it? I feel so blessed! 

"Curvy & Confident" is a statement that describes me fully. Love the body you have. Treat it kindly. I am blessed with a body that houses my soul so I take care of that temple and am proud to be wearing it. That may sound weird, but I think you get my point. I think people are beautiful if they feel beautiful, if they don't try to be like everyone else, if they love themselves and that overflows into others, if they smile, if they laugh, if they show gratitude.

Today, my youngest son and I went to his college campus to run through all of his classes, buy books, and take care of some other details. We walked 2.3 miles down there. Plus, the college is built on a hill, so there are a ton of stairs. Now I have blisters, but it was worth it. He feels much more comfortable and confident with his schedule now. 

Later this week, my husband will take my son on the train and the buses to get to and around campus and the surrounding area. I will likely be taking him to the train station every morning until my oldest is moved in at his college in a few weeks. They don't start at the same time and my oldest still needs a vehicle to get to and from work until he is back at school. 

​Busy times indeed, but enjoyable.

...continued story...

So, I was taking care of my sibling, among other things and was so much less worried about myself. However, I should have been worried. I was being terribly affected by my parents' divorce and by my father's behavior towards me.

No parent should ever do or say the things my father did. He left me death threats in my car while I was at work. I have no idea how he managed to get into it, other than that he maybe had the spare key, since it was the family's car prior. 

The things that I witnessed growing up did not compare to this experience. 

I was willing to testify against my own father. I sat in court and had to see his face, intimidating me from his seat. All he had to do was look at me. But I was still willing to truly go against this monster of a man.

Because of things that happened, I was a mess at work. But I was so blessed. They truly cared for me and understood that I was going through a trying time.

My mother would call me quite often with things that had happened. I would listen and then have to excuse myself from work for a bit to get composed. My work acquaintances became my family. They were there when I needed them and they were my social environment as well. Amazing people! Amazing experiences! I still miss them.

One example of a conversation from my mother calling me at work was when she found out that my father had gone to Kentucky and married the woman he had the affair with...all prior to the divorce being final! (the marriage had to be redone to be legit). How does one deal with that kind of information at age 20 and as the child of this feuding couple? Me? I consoled my mother and just listened. Then, I would go and practically (or often actually) vomit and bawl my eyes out in the bathroom and go back to work. I was holding on to a lot of "stuff" and it kept on coming.

To be continued...

​In answer to someone's question on Instagram, my favorite food is chocolate...most things with chocolate, but not dark chocolate.

Yesterday we cooked ribs for dinner and hosted my mother-in-law. Because he haven't had ribs in a while, we didn't realize how long they take to cook. So, I took some time to make something from a new recipe book I just got, so that we would have something to eat as an appetizer. 

I made some shrimp cocktail with mango salsa from a cookbook called Nina Cucina, Your Healthy Gourmet. It turned out so beautiful and the tastes were perfect together. I cannot wait to try another recipe from this book! Just check out this picture of how it turned out. I mean, come on! So beautiful and delicious!

The ribs turned out great, about a hour later.

​This time of year is so yummy for the fact that produce is so much more fresh and we actually get some from our garden. So, we included grilled zucchini, cucumbers and some pasta salad with our ribs and fresh baked rolls. The dinner was lovely and the company was lovely as always.

I think today I will bake some zucchini bread so that we will have that for breakfasts for a few days. We certainly have enough zucchini to spare:)

In continuing with my story from my previous post...

...I moved with my friends to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We didn't have jobs or a place to live, but we packed up our stuff (we had very little because we were in college) and just took off. 

We camped in a KOA for a while, found jobs and then found a good deal on condos just at the base of the Tetons in Teton Village. I was never super happy during that time because I kept having dreams that I should go home to help my mother because my parents were going to get a divorce. Mind you, no one had told me that she was in need of help or that they were going to be going through a divorce. However, I just could not stop the urgency of the dreams from affecting how I felt in the day-to-day. 

One day, I just called my parents, telling them I needed to come home. 

​I knew when I came home that something was up. Sure enough, the process of divorce started and I was there with a purpose. A purpose of taking care of my siblings and being the help my mother needed emotionally, and otherwise. 

The adventure that I never wanted to have was beginning. 

My naivete was about to implode. 

My father was an LDS bishop. He had an affair with my friend's mother, stole tithing money, had credit cards in all of our names (stacks), was not reporting his taxes, etc. etc.

At the time, we had a huge house. Well, my father decided to take up residence in the huge room that was over the garage, while my mother stayed in the master. It was awkward, to say the least.

Because he knew that I was protecting my mother, my father would taunt me by saying things like, 'you'll never lose the weight. you'll always be fat' (because I had gained some weight from having mono), 'you're so stupid', etc. etc. Really not a very pleasant experience, but I was used to having unpleasant experiences around him so I held my own.

My father had horded all of the tax documents and other documents in that room, in our house. At night, I helped my mother by going up there with her, carrying flashlights, gathering documents...boxes of documents. These would be used in a divorce case that should become a criminal case. 

If my father would have seen us, we would have been dead. We would have been one of those stories, read about in the newspaper and reported on TV.  It was DANGEROUS.

Once we had the documents, my mother took them to the church and had the new bishop put them in the bishop's office for safe keeping. Then, they got transferred at least once more before they got to my mother's attorney.

My father happened to find out the documents were missing, went storming into the new bishop's office and was flying off the handle. The danger was why there wound up being a restraining order and why he had to move out. He was a dangerous person anyway, but when he felt even more paranoid and delusional, he was out of control.

There were days that my father would come to the door of the house (even though he was supposed to be a certain distance away), pound on the door, and I would have to open the door and tell him to leave, while he would try to push his way in. Those were such terrifying times. 

During this time, I got a job at a company, in a call center. I was selling medical coding books. This opportunity helped me greatly because I had a better self-esteem, being good at my job. I would work until the kids would get home from school and then would be at home with them so that they would not be home alone. 

You see, I am the second oldest of six. My older sister was already married and away and my brother just 1 and 1/2 years younger than me was on an LDS mission in Japan. So, I took on the responsibility of being the mother to those kids when my mother couldn't. It was natural for me. I had done it when I lived at home before college.

This story is to be continued in tomorrow's post...

I neglected to post yesterday. Such a busy day and an awesome one for my husband's birthday! He is such a cutie patootie! I am the luckiest woman!! Here's a rundown of what we did in addition to our normal Saturday stuff...

• Roadtrip to Maddox for lunch in Brigham City (a tradition...at least once a year)
• Fashion Place Mall to have the Apple folks look at his computer, while my mother-in-law and I walked around, window shopped and people watched (always interesting)
• Cake and ice cream and birthday presents
• A nice time watching our weekly NCIS with my hubby's cute mother.

We really wanted to find a way out of the smoke from the wildfires, but there is no way out without traveling for a day or more. Pretty apocalyptic out here, but makes for great sunrises and sunsets.

So, back to the questions people have had about me. I think it's so interesting how people want to know about me who have never met me. It's so flattering because I don't feel so interesting or special. Thanks for the interest.

Continuing right away from my last post...

Home life was not super easy growing up. It was not peaceful at home. However, that could be a lot of people's story. A lot of people had it hard at home.

Here's something that you may not know and that you might find interesting. 

I went to BYU Idaho after high school. I didn't really have any goals of what I wanted to do with my life. I just wanted to get out of my house that was feeling more and more like hell because my parents argued all of the time and my father would fly off the handle without any provocation. 

My chosen major? Psychology.

Is it any wonder that this quiet observer would want to be a psychologist when coming from a home where her father was a paranoid schizophrenic? My personality is so different from the rest of my siblings even. Very even keel. Not someone with a temper.

My father would have these terrible nightmares and run through the house in his sleep, lift up my parent's bed while my mother was in it (again in his sleep), claw on walls (again in his sleep), and teach me vocabulary that I would not have learned for years:0

It was terrifying! He would walk into a room where we were having a casual and humorous conversation about some random thing and would scream "why are you talking about me!". There would be dishes that flew from his hand, the word "stupid" directed at me often, whipping with a belt or a wooden spoon, and very strict rules that you would not be in a good condition if you shared what went on at home with anyone. You might say that there was a bit of control.

Me? I was the observer and the protector. I have always had that personality trait, that characteristic. I was always the nurturer and still am. I prefer to laugh instead of being serious. I prefer to think on the scale of the Universe and what energy is flowing near myself and my family than think about the bad things that are going on around the planet that get thrown in our faces by the media.

Going away from home was what I needed to try to figure things out and to find myself.

However, school was hard to pay for. I was working so much (80 hr weeks at times) and had so much anxiety about going to class and anything else I would do that it just was not a good situation. I found myself skipping class, unable to take tests, unable to study, only wanting social life, working so much that I was drained, not sleeping, not eating right, and certainly not managing money correctly due to the example I had at home. It was quite chaotic and unhealthy.

I wound up with a boyfriend that I was with because he loved me, not because he was the kind of person I wanted. He paid attention to me and said nice things. I wasn't used to that.

​Also, I found myself getting mono because I was running myself into the ground. 

My father had called me around Christmas time and told me that I should not come home because I was no longer a tax write off. He told me prior to going to school that he would pay for school, but then didn't pay a dime. I was truly alone and confused. 

Yes, this story is going deep into my past. The reason? People want to know who I am and how I came to be me. Your past can either build you or break you. Obviously, I went through a broken period of time.

That period of time when I was at BYU Idaho (known then as Rick's College), was a time when I felt lost more than ever before. I had fun, mind you. However, I didn't know where I fit in, read social situations totally wrong, and eventually wound up moving to Jackson Hole for the Summer with some friends. 

Did I drink and smoke in college? No. That is a question people ask a lot. I was very very naive. I was very trusting. I was kind of a crazy, spur of the moment kind of person at that time. My roommate actually told me that I was kinda crazy. A good girl, but kinda crazy and spastic. I would just say yes to going and doing anything (not including drinking, smoking or drugs). I would go running at 3 am. I had no fear because I was away from what I was afraid of.

When I was in college, I loved business and communications but always loved psychology the very most. I never finished my degree because of the things that happened during and after I moved with my friends to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. What happened really woke me up and put me on a dark path that eventually led to light.

That will have to be for another post. 

​
Any questions about myself that I can answer? Please comment below and I will try to fit in the answers.

One answer that is hard to fit into my story anywhere is 'what is your favorite color?'. The answer to that is purple purple and purple, which is why I totally celebrated the color of the year. The color of the year for 2018 is Ultra-Violet. Isn't is stunning?

I will continue my story in my next post.

I have been afraid to share about myself because of the fear of judgement. Well, that ends today, because I want you to know me. People have been asking questions via Instagram DM, Facebook DM, and in my comments on Instagram, so here are some of the answers to your questions.

So, here it goes, and at first, the back story will be a little brief.

I was born in Colorado in the 1970's. No, I was not a flower child. One interesting thing about me as a baby was that the nurses thought that I was not my mother's child because I had a ton of dark hair and my skin was olive complexioned.

I broke my foot when I was three and kept walking on it anyway. That kind of thing is part of my personality. I may not feel well, but I still get things done. I am kind of a machine. I am a workaholic and burn myself out and that is the only way I stop. 

Russian? No, although everyone thinks so since my name is Natasha. However, I would love to learn the Russian language, as some of my ancestors are from that region.

As a child, I really loved my dolls and was always the mommy to my younger siblings. That was all I ever wanted to be, a mom...until I discovered music and fashion. After that, I wanted to be a model and did so. I obviously was no supermodel, however, a dream I did fulfill and now am glad for the experience.

When a teen, I was quite the punk chic. I loved black. I loved the new wave music. I loved exploring the wonders of the '80s. That was a great time to be a teen. Back then, I was super naive. Never would I do something that my parents didn't like. A people pleaser? Yes! I wanted approval, but also wanted to explore who I was. I didn't find myself in my teens, but I did have some amazing experiences to look back on.

For now, that will be the era I end on. I will post more tomorrow. If you have questions, keep them coming.

I am so grateful for another day, as always. And, because I am so grateful, I will make every bit of it count.

I'm sitting here working on my social media stuff, with a tightness in my chest from the smoke and from anxiety. So much to do! I will have to have help soon. Like a personal assistant. It's a good problem to have. I have been working from the time I get up each day to the time I go to bed, while fitting in my home and family stuff throughout. So, there is no way to really calculate the hours spent on which part of things.

It's a 24/7 business because you work with people around the globe. I don't make a big deal about it. I don't really even mention it at family gatherings because I think after having Lyme and being sick for so long, people in my extended family have pretty low expectations for me and they are busy with their own lives anyway. Besides, it is NOT glamorous! It's mostly staring at a screen all day, managing various accounts, connecting with people (mostly virtually), photo shoots, photo editing, captioning, hashtagging, a LOT of work! It's worth every second! I love it and business is growing so fast because of my consistency in working on it. 

I'm starting to pay my youngest handsome son (age 18) to do some things for me. He is super smart and so tech savvy. He has had such bad anxiety with the change from high school, to now getting ready to go to college in 11 days. He has help with anxiety, as all of us do in our little family. Change is what sets it off most of the time. I am so proud of how far he has come and I just know that he is going on to do amazing things with his life.

So, anywho, he will be doing some things for me and I will pay him. His anxiety has taken over this summer, so he has not yet gotten a job. I think that helping me with some things and getting paid for it will help his self esteem, therefore helping relieve some of the anxiety.

Also new, my niece just got diagnosed with breast cancer, so prayers for her would be very welcome. Does it seem like everyone is affected by cancer these days? Wow! And so young! Makes you wonder what is in the water, doesn't it? This sweet girl could very much use your prayers.

My step-dad also just had surgery for jaw cancer where they had to take out part of his jaw, put in part of a bone from his leg, some tissue and blood vessels from his arm and a metal plate. Crazy stuff right there! He could use your prayers as well. He is really in a lot of pain, as you would expect. I am praying that the bone they took out has clean margins and that it won't show that he still has cancer left in his mouth.

This makes me grateful that I JUST had late-stage Lyme disease. Yes! It's part of the new perspective you get from having something like that. Being misdiagnosed so many times because of the way that Lyme wanders around your nervous system treats you to the effects of many other diseases. For instance, they thought I might have the following list, at many points prior to the correct diagnoses. (see below the picture)

Misdiagnoses list:

Chronic fatigue syndrome
Parkinson's disease
Alzheimer's 
Multiple Sclerosis
More

You see, it is the great imitator. That is literally what they call it.

How much empathy I have grown for those who are so ill! I feel their pain and discomfort. I feel their guilt. I don't know what to say to those in their family who are supporting them, except great job and thank you. They will have no idea how much their help and support means to those who are sick!

Well, it's time for lunch, then time for yoga and time to go to an appointment with my oldest son. 

These boys have grown up soooo fast! I know I have said that before, but jeez louise! Time is a flying. 

Remember, spend some time on YOU today. By doing that, you will have more quality time with and for others. 

Peace and Love.

I used to think, like many young parents do, that when my children grew up, things would get easier. I used to think that I would have free time and that the kids would not need me any more.  Wrong! 

First off, enjoy every minute of their little lives because it flies by. I mean, one minute you are changing diapers and the next you are sending them to college. 

One thing that even makes this even more so is that I missed years and years of my children because of Lyme disease. Lyme took a lot from me, but it also gave me a lot. It gave me simplicity. It gave me daily gratitude for the little things. It gave me a zest for life. It gave me a new perspective.

Now that I am pushing through this post Lyme life of mine, I am more busy that I ever thought I would be. 

I am 48, with a husband who is AMAZING and two adult boys who are FANTASTIC. However, I am trying to figure out how to balance taking care of a home (which I am very OCD about), taking care of my family (which I love to do and is my priority) and taking care of business (extraordinarily driven). The question is, how does one do everything and still take care of herself?

I know that everyone experiences and is challenged by a balancing act.

My husband does a lot more than most and spends all of his "extra" time on family, us. Seriously, he is amazing! He cooks more dinners than I do. He is a motivator. He is a listener. He is a nurturer.

My boys help where they can. I need to do more training...and I know that is one of the keys. They do quite a bit, but they get overwhelmed because of Asperger's and severe anxiety disorder. We are working on helping them and training them for their lives of independence...and as we do, they help us more and more. We have great boys!

With our challenges, my little team's challenges, we are maybe on a slower track than other families in certain areas, and that is okay. 

Coping with things, with so much to do and not enough time to do it, can be difficult for anyone. I am just getting my barrings after being in bed sick for so many years. So, this is a challenge, but a challenge I am willing to take on.

Every single day, I do yoga. I'm missing my walking due to the smoke from the wildfires. Yoga is a savior of my sanity though. I also watch motivational videos every morning and meditate. I am usually pretty zen, but I do everything until I burn myself out. 

What do you do to manage the balance of life? 

How do you manage work, family, home and still take care of yourself?